Once upon a time, a young squire was hunting for mushrooms in an enchanted forest. Suddenly, he was confronted with the image of a towering wizard who looked much like the trees surrounding him but for the tumbling white beard and the stereotypical pointy hat. Unsure of how to appropriately address the wizard, he did what any truffle-hunting squire would do and poked him unceremoniously with a stick.
“GARUMPH! Who goes there?”
The wizard peered down at him through apparently blind eyes and the squire stuttered a lame apology.
“You have disturbed the slumber of the all-knowing Pegglewig, the patron wizard of the enchanted forest. What prompts this intrusion?”
“Well, your all-knowing-ship, to be frank, that is, to be completely honest, I was, as a squire is wont to do on a moist evening such as this, verily… I’m looking for some shrooms.”
“SHROOMS?! What use have you for the toe-fungus of the gods?”
“Hem, yes, well, you see, I was rather hoping to get, as they say, ‘blitzed between the ears,’ if you know what I mean.”
At this, the wizard became very solemn and began nodding slowly. So slowly in fact that the squire presumed that he had fallen asleep once more and began to shuffle away to continue his quest.
“You are very wise to come to me young one. It appears there is still some sense among the god-forsaken fools of Scramelot, still a noble few who have preserved the hidden knowledge, a valiant contingent who have read the ancient tomes of Pegglewig, a club of gentlemen….”
The squire began surveying the area for edible fungus as the wizard waxed on.
“FINALLY! One who is worthy of the greatest gift! Though I must admit this phrase ‘blitzed between the ears’ is new to me, it can mean only one thing: you seek the blessing of eternal memory!”
The squire nodded very unconvincingly, but the blind wizard continued.
“You are brave to seek my blessing, young knight, as you must know the perils of doing so: the incredible potential for a fate worse than death, the possibility of becoming one with the enchanted forest, to live, unending, in a state of creaking and swaying, never waking, but never sleeping, yearning for freedom and friendship, but dwelling in the bitterness of dreams unrealized. But there is no turning from it now! The test begins!”
The unfortunate squire, who had never met a test he couldn’t utterly botch, looked desperately for a way out. This was one bad trip.
“The questioning begins!”
“Ahh, erm, excuse me?”
“Ha! Excellent! A classic start. Do go on!”
“Is there some way I can study for this? What questions?
“Not particularly creative, but a fair inquiry. Continue!”
“What?”
“Profound!”
“Look. I’m not seeking a blessing; I just wanted to get baked. Can you just point me to the way out?”
“The Nomad’s Opening, a fan favorite!”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”
“A bold show! So similar to a previous question but with a skillful adjustment!”
This exchange went on for a long time. Minutes stretched into hours, into days, into weeks; the enchanted forest has a way of skipping through time as the rest of the world slowly strolls. Little did the squire know, for the first time in his life, he was passing a test, and doing so brilliantly.
“Why does the wind moan in the desert? What loss has it suffered?”
“Why indeed…” murmured the old wizard, who was at this point, smoking a giant pipe brimming with fungus.
“And where from does the magpie – hullo! what’s this?”
“Yes, yes… ah, what?”
“I feel a stirring, like I am holding a rope that is pulling from a deep well. I see wild visions of far-away places and impossible shapes. I see my life unfolding before me and, and ah! I remember where I left that pair of boots I lost last month!”
Pegglewig released a hearty laugh. “You have done it my boy! You have unlocked your inner wizard, you have acquired the greatest gift – garnered the blessing of unlimited memory!”
“But… all I did was ask questions! I was just trying to get out of taking the test! I was stalling! And what ludicrous, unanswerable questions I asked!”
“Precisely. This is why you have won. You awakened the deep and abiding curiosity that seeks out all that has been lost. A curious man is a creative one; dreaming of answers to impossible questions, bending reality with his imagination. A creative man cannot forget, for he forges memories with magic and paints them like pictures to hang in the corridors of his mind.”
“What do I do now?”
“You will do as you are compelled to do by the inquiring of your spirit! You will revel in seeking and take pleasure in finding. You will gather up the years like feathers in your cap until you strut around like a peacock, bringing laughter to the eyes of the world and emboldening men to imagine once again. There is no limit to your adventure because it will live on like stained glass in vivid stories for all generations.”
The squire left the enchanted wood, but the enchanted wood never left him. Though he experienced many sorrows, these served as contrast, the darker shades in a masterpiece of brilliant color. His joy was overflowing because his vessel never leaked, and all who were near him wondered what had really happened in that enchanted wood. And in the joy and in the wondering, they all lived happily ever after.
The End
